PART SIX
“Ash… come here. What did you bring?”
Ash looked up into the eyes of a petit young woman stood over by the window; he smiled but received only a frown. He unfastened the rope from his belt and laid the sack onto a small rectangular table in the centre of the room. The young woman approached the table, she glanced over at Ash and then begun to roll up her sleeves. Ash untied the rope sealing the sack and stepped back to allow the woman to take a look. She lifted up the bottom of the sack and allowed the contents to settle on the table before placing the now empty sack underneath. Ash looked up at her, waiting to see her reaction before he could let himself feel triumphant. The corner of the woman’s mouth twisted upward, she nodded towards Ash.
“Son, best hunt you’ve had all week”, she looked down at the fresh rabbit then back towards Ash, “Sweetheart come give me a hug, I don’t mean to be so reliant of you, you know…”
Ash shifted towards his mother, reluctantly accepting her embrace, contact like this always made him feel uneasy. Ash didn’t like to show emotion, he had to be reliable and unhinged, emotions were too distracting.
“…You of all people should know how hard it has become around here. I think maybe tomorrow you should take your brothers out. It will make things easier on you, start to teach them how to use a bow… maybe even show them how to set some traps.”
She released her son and walked over to the basin, “do you know how lucky we are to have running water? Not many folk around here do. Bring over the rabbit, come help me clean it”
September 30th, 2012 at 2:40 pm
This new post may need some tweaking! Advice welcome.
September 30th, 2012 at 7:44 pm
I’d try to end posts with some kind of suspenseful element. I know this sounds cheesy, but just as an example, this post might have ended like, “But they were stopped at the cleaning table by a knock at the door.”
September 30th, 2012 at 9:23 pm
yes, I understand what you mean. How is my writing itself?
October 3rd, 2012 at 6:00 am
I’m not here to critique your writing. I don’t even read fantasy literature; I don’t like it. But you, near as I can tell, are the only active blovel on the Internet. If there are others, I have yet to be able to find them.